You're not too old and it's not too late: An invitation to join the Midlife Unstuck community
I’d love you to become part of the Midlife Unstuck community. It’s not for everyone….but, it might be for you.
After you’ve read this article, you’ll know whether we’re your type of people…or not.
There are two parts:
Part One: 11 Ways to keep doing work that doesn’t feel good enough…forever
Part Two: The Alternative
PART ONE
Are you feeling that something needs to change, but you’re not exactly sure where to begin?
11 Ways to keep doing work that DOESN’T feel good enough…forever
Blame someone or something else for where you are
Blame someone or something else for keeping you there
Don’t ask yourself tough questions like “What the heck do I really want?”
Keep yourself under the radar, play small, and never rock the boat
Keep pedalling fast, until someone stops you
Decide to stay in the corporate toaster...as long as they’ll let you
Don’t do anything until the timing is absolutely perfect
Don’t learn from others who’ve been where you are now, but decided to make changes to do more satisfying work
Ignore the spending habits that might be contributing to you needing to earn the same salary - so that you can do the same type of spending
Pick a time in the future when you will start to think about the future - and hope that you’ll still be here when that time comes
PART TWO
What’s the alternative?
We’re all at different points in our journey towards designing work that gives us more freedom, fulfillment, satisfaction and control.
Midlife Unstuck supports a growing private community of midlifers.
These professionals, in their 40s, 50s and 60s, are learning how to design work that matters more to them…work that feels good…for as long as they choose to work.
I’d love for you to thrive in our community and take steps to design your own version of happy work.
Some people don’t like it - they join us for a week or two and then unsubscribe. That’s ok! You’ll know a lot more about designing your next decade in the next week. And my style is not for everyone.
Your time is too valuable to waste it with us, if we’re not right for you.
Here’s the kind of support you can expect if you decide to join us:
I’d love to say hello to everyone in our community, face-to-face (well...zoom-to-zoom).
So I offer a 30 minute (free) Light at the end of my tunnel call.
I guarantee to give you two personalised recommendations to help you unstick your career, no matter what stage you’re at.
I only have a few slots available each week, so book early to avoid waiting. You can do this any time, but why not strike while the iron is hot?
Action-driven articles with psychological know-how and ZERO woo woo or fluff
How to go about your career change…insights into what might be getting in your way…step-by-step exercises to get you moving at all stages.
Not tips and tricks.
Deeper articles - so you can see the wood and the trees.
Invitations to join my career design programmes
Here’s the most popular and best value one. I love it so much, I consider it my third child.
And here’s the higher investment option, for the time-poor or those impatient-for-results.
Direct access to my inbox several times a week.
The “You’re not too old and it’s not too late” newsletter is very regular - so that your future career stays front of mind.
Just hit reply to any of the almost emails (3 or 4 times a week), and ask a question.
Every single question will be personally answered, or if it’s a popular question, I’ll direct you a piece of content that helps.
Invitations to my events
I have many events throughout the year, all of which fill us within days of release.
Some of these are: Masterclasses, Career Happiness Workshops, Career Retreats, Online Courses (free and paid), Online Q&As, 30 minute book a call, article research interviews and lots more.
Invitations to buy my book
Not because my publisher pays me £1 from each sale on Amazon! But, because I invested nearly 1000 hours of my life creating something that I truly believe in.
It has helped hundreds of individuals to date, who felt stuck.
By giving them hope. Hope for their potential to do work that matters more to them. Hope for the possibility that if others can design their work to fit them and feel better, surely they can too.
ALERT! I’m going to be rather direct (I can’t fight these Celtic genes) and say that I’d rather you didn’t join us unless you’ve read the following principles - they underpin ALL of the work that goes on at Midlife Unstuck.
But, I’ll warn you, they don’t sit well with everyone.
And that’s perfectly OK.
Not everyone is ready for change…yet.
The “Never too old, never too late” community is an army of midlife professionals who want to design their next decade to be their best ever. What you’re trying to do isn’t easy - but it’s very possible. Even necessary.
THE THINKING BEHIND MIDLIFE UNSTUCK
With Midlife Unstuck, I’m not trying to convince the world of the value of doing work that fits better and feels great.
I’ve decided, instead, to focus my limited months on this earth helping those who already believe that it’s possible, ESPECIALLY IF they don’t know how to get there…yet.
If this resonates with you, dive on in and join us by signing up to the “You’re not too old and it’s not too late” community.
I also invite you to jump on a free 30 minute call with me now.
If nothing I’ve said resonates, I’ll never know. Just hit exit and we’ll part company. Find someone else out there whose message resonates with you more deeply. Someone who can help you NOT reinvent the wheel.
Midlife Unstuck Guiding Principles
Time is too precious to drift through it
The average human lives for around 1000 months.
At 40, you’ve lived 480 of your potential months
At 45, you’ve lived 540 of your potential months
At 50, you’ve lived 600 of your potential months
At 55, you’ve lived 660 of your potential months
At 60 you’ve lived 720 of your potential months
All of our lives are too short to waste it doing work that doesn’t fit or feel great.
Are you ready to put some thought into figuring out how you want to spend your remaining months?
Regrets
Absolutely no one looks back on their lives towards the end, wishing they’d worked harder
We don’t have a choice about when we die, but we can bloody well choose how we live!
In the UK, we spend at least 60% of our waking hours working.
And that 60% doesn’t include worrying about work, emailing in the evening, or those annoying notifications that wake you in the middle of the night.
Staying stuck is a choice…your choice
This can be a very tough pill to swallow...in the beginning.
The only way to start to change is to admit that we are somewhere we don’t want to be. Sounds simple, hey?
But this is excruciatingly difficult for most...and too hard for some.
Stuck isn’t always painful.
For some, it feels cosy and safe. We humans like safety. It’s built into our DNA. But safe isn’t actually always safe, is it?
Blame and victims
Blaming others is not for us - although, admittedly, most of us start there.
Once we realise that blaming the boss, company, culture, people, work styles etc is just a way to keep us stuck in a story where we are the helpless victim - we realise we have a choice. To see things differently.
Alert! Danger! Comfort zone enlarging!
Our brains would prefer us to stay put.
They perceive danger anywhere beyond the comfort zone.
They make change feel bloody hard...in the beginning.
But, we can train our brains to take a small risk, get comfy, and then take another small risk.
Until taking those small risks begins to feel safe. Until they feel comfortable.
It doesn’t take long.
But, it does take a certain desire and a decent level of effort.
Fortunately, we get to choose if we’re prepared to make the effort or not.
It’s tantalising isn’t it? The idea of feeling free, being in control, having satisfaction and fun through your work. It is possible.
Adolescents define success differently to us
“Duh!” I hear you say.
Yet, sometimes our definition of success gets stuck in our youth.
When we were either pleasing our parents by moving up the ladder, or rebelling by not.
We sometimes forget to allow our definition of success to grow up (Mine stayed exactly the same for nearly 20 years!)
Midlife Unstuck is filled with individuals who are prepared to do the work to reveal the limitations of their youthful success definition.
They then craft a new personalised definition of success - to hell with the Jones!
Perfection is cripplingly joyless
The drive for perfection chokes every last bit of fun from our exciting journey. Even though we know this, it holds a strange power over us.
That drive for perfection keeps us stuck.
It prevents us from trying something new. From trying anything new. From putting ourselves out there - even just a little. From doing something different. From experimenting. From creating a new us.
It prevents us from failing. And from succeeding.
From starting. And from finishing.
From reaching our potential as humans. And from doing work that matters.
It’s a very big wall, this wall of perfection. Perfect for hiding behind.
In our community, we fight it with laughter, support, encouragement and learning.
Work and our generation
Work and self-esteem for our generation (Generation X) are intertwined…more than for any other generations before us, or since. (My book is called X Change…see what I did there?)
If we agree, then it feels right that we should give ourselves permission to invest some time and effort (and usually some cash) into figuring out how to make work more satisfying and fulfilling.
We need to invest in ourselves in the present, if we want to feel good about our work - and by extension - ourselves in the future.
We did it once, we can do it again
If we worked hard to be successful in one career (even when it didn’t use all our strengths and Superpowers).
And if we’re prepared to work hard on an even more attractive career, why couldn’t we be even more successful?
This is especially true if we’ve already designed our own, new (and very grown-up) personal definition of success.
Imagine how it would feel to get paid to do work that comes naturally. That energises you. That feels good even on dab Monday mornings.
Control and freedom
If we don’t deliberately choose our priorities, they will.
We don’t want that.
We get to choose.
Personal invisibility cloaks
Without exception, we each have an entirely unique (and utterly wonderful) combination of strengths, talents, Superpowers, and personality traits. After all, we’ve been cultivating them for at least half of our lives, often longer.
We often don’t value these strengths and Superpowers highly enough, because they feel so natural and come so easily to us. Sometimes we lose touch with them and they become invisible to us. Then, only others can see them.
The foundation of building work that matters, involves discarding the invisibility cloak that has been hiding our unique combination strengths and Superpowers…once and for all.
Then the fog of uncertainty starts to lift.
In 2019 I did an experiment that involved outdoor swimming - I fell in love with it. I might in my early 50s, but I’m not done yet! I feel the same about my work!
The personal toxic office
Some environments, people, and cultures are toxic for us. Yet somehow, others thrive in exactly the same environment.
Sometimes the environment we used to love, doesn't love us back anymore.
Sometimes they change. Sometimes we change.
When we acknowledge which environments are toxic for us personally, and understand why they poison us, they’re easy to avoid in the future - to reduce our stress.
Self-kindness
If only we were kinder to ourselves, we’d see the magic that others see.
Read the line above again. Please.
We’re all learning and relearning this one. It might take us a lifetime. But, it’s necessary if we are to design work that matters more.
Start by noticing your inner critical voice.
For most of us, it’s quite obvious. So obvious,we think it’s our only inner voice. Here’s an image and mini-post about my nasty inner voice on Linkedin.
Do we still want the gift?
Our first career is a gift to our future self. We simply need to decide whether we truly want to accept it and carry it into our future. ( I know, I know. You’ve invested half of your life in it!)
We now have a tough choice. To choose whether we want to invest the final half of our life in it.
Or, we can reshape our work to fit and feel better. A tweak rather then a leap.
We get to choose.
What’s the inner story?
The stories we tell ourselves are just that, stories.
When we’re staring down the barrel of a career story that doesn’t look attractive, we have the freedom to begin to write a new story...with a different ending.
It can be scary though, especially when we don’t know how, or where, to start.
But others do.
Find a career specialist you like and ask for their help. (Here’s what to consider when searching)
Turning off Auto-pilot
No one cares for our careers the way we do.
But, if we leave them on auto-pilot for a while, we often need a little extra flight training before we fly solo.
It doesn’t take take long.
And the benefits of some extra training on how to be a fierce career designer last a lifetime.
Compromising positions
We’re adults so we totally get that every decision involves a compromise.
But, it’s so much easier if those compromises are known and explored choices, rather than surprises.
Or someone else’s choice.
It’s bloody exhausting wearing a mask
Bringing the whole, real us into work is not nearly as draining as leaving half of ourselves at home, or wearing a mask every day.
It’s liberating. It’s unapologetic. It’s energising. It’s a refreshing change. And, it feels bloody wonderful.
But we need to get to know the real us, intimately - the ‘us’ in our 40s, 50s or 60s.
Then, we can decide
…if we really think we’re too old, or
…if we truly believe it’s too late.
I’ve decided.
How about you?
Are you ready to focus, and invest in you and your future, a future filled with work that feels more satisfying and fulfilling? With more freedom…and fun?
Over to you
We can only control two things in life…our thoughts and our actions.
What are you thinking now?
What action will you take now to make tomorrow feel different?
Suggested actions:
Sign up to the You’re not too old and it’s not too late community within the Midlife Unstuck community.
Book in here to spend half an hour with me - where we get to meet face-to-face (well...via zoom) and I get to hear a little about your situation. In 30 minutes, I’ll give you at least two personalised recommendations on how to design a little more satisfaction and fun into your work. What have you got to lose?
