Lucia Knight
When Grief Makes Work Feel Pointless: How Loss Quietly Rewires Our Career Motivation
Grief can make work feel meaningless. Discover how loss reshapes career motivation—and why it's okay to pause before redesigning your next chapter.
When Grief Makes Work Feel Pointless: How Loss Quietly Rewires Our Career Motivation
Grief has a strange way of silencing the parts of us that used to feel driven. One day you’re performing well, ticking boxes, being useful—and the next, something cracks open. After the loss of someone deeply important, work can suddenly feel flat, irrelevant, or painfully trivial.
This isn’t laziness. It’s a recalibration.
For many professionals, especially in midlife, grief disrupts not just their emotions—but their energy, clarity, and motivation. The change can feel disorienting. Familiar routines no longer bring a sense of purpose. Achievements that once mattered now seem inconsequential. Even showing up can feel like too much.
Why Work Feels Different After a Loss
When someone dies—especially someone close—it often triggers an internal reckoning. The illusion that time is limitless disappears, and with it, the unconscious justification for spending so much of it on work that feels misaligned.
Grief doesn’t just affect the heart; it shakes up our priorities. Tasks and goals that once energised you may now seem hollow. A role you were good at might suddenly feel meaningless.
This is not a failure of resilience. It’s a natural and necessary part of mourning. The version of you who chose that job may not be the same version emerging from the fog of grief.
Is It Okay to Take a Break?
Yes. Taking time away from work isn’t indulgent—it’s wise. But there’s no need to pressure yourself to come back with a perfect plan. Real, sustainable career changes rarely happen in the chaos of early grief. They emerge slowly, after periods of reflection, rest, and reorientation.
This is a season not for rushing into decisions, but for sense-making.
Some days you’ll feel capable. Others you’ll want to wrap yourself in a blanket and avoid the world. Both are valid. You are allowed to move through this with softness.
A Gentle Exercise to Begin Again
In time, clarity returns—but it often starts as a whisper. Instead of pushing for answers, start noticing small flickers of energy. Which conversations spark your interest? Which podcasts, books, or topics catch your attention? These quiet nudges are often breadcrumbs toward what matters now.
When you feel ready, try this two-list exercise:
List 1: Tasks or roles you never want to do again.
List 2: Things you’d like to explore more in your work life, even just a little.
These will become your compass when the fog begins to lift.
Resources to Support This Season
Grief is not something to fix—it’s something to honour. If you're looking for gentle tools or perspective-shifting support, here are a few helpful places to begin:
📘 Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom – A short and tender reflection on life, death, and meaning.
🎧 Griefcast Podcast – Candid, humorous, and deeply human conversations about loss.
✍️ How a health scare, bereavement or grief impacts career change – An article on avoiding rash career moves during emotional upheaval.
🎙️ Joy at Work episode with Dipti Tait – Practical, compassionate advice from a grief specialist.
🧭 Midlife Unstuck Community – A warm space for reflection and realignment.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Becoming
If you’re grieving and finding it hard to care about your work, you’re not broken. You’re simply being reshaped by loss. This may be the beginning of something quieter, wiser, and more aligned than before.
The next chapter of your working life is not cancelled—it’s just being written differently.
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When Work Feels Pointless: Career Reflection in the Wake of Grief
This is the Joy At Work podcast, and I'm Lucy Knight. Here's this week's question from a listener.
[00:00:07] Listener question: “My give-a-toss-ometer is broken—what now?”
I'm grieving the loss of a close friend, and honestly, my give-a-toss-ometer is broken. I've always been good at my job, but lately I just don't care about it. I'm thinking of taking some time off to figure out what comes next. I've got lovely friends and family who are supporting me, but I can't shake the feeling that life's just too short to spend it doing work that doesn't matter.
Is it okay to just stop for a while?
[00:00:39] Why grief makes work feel pointless
I'm sorry to hear that your friend has died. That's a big emotional weight to carry, and it makes complete sense that your work feels. Well flat right now. When you say your give-a-toss-ometer is broken, I think a lot of our listeners will get that.
Few of us make it to our age without losing brilliant, wonderful people who no longer add to the joy in our lives. In my experience, grief changes everything including work. It's no wonder you're feeling that your work no longer interests you. It's a natural human response to loss. Your energy, your attention, your desire for meaning, they've all been shaken up and reordered.
[00:01:28] From spending time to investing it
The loss of important people from our lives can jolt us into reevaluating everything, especially how we spend our time.
And spend is an important word. Once you've experienced deep loss, spending time seems unbelievably wasteful. What we're often drawn to is figuring out how we can invest our time more valuably instead.
[00:02:00] Grief recalibrates your values
These painful events, bereavement, loss, grief, they don't just touch our emotions, they recalibrate our values.
They unveil what really matters and what really matters to you will be very different to what really matters to me and to each of us. And when that recalibration happens, it's not uncommon for the job you've been good at for years to suddenly feel empty or meaningless.
Because you're no longer the same person who chose that job.
[00:02:36] Is it wise to take time off? Yes.
Taking time off is not a luxury. It's wise. So our listener is thinking of taking a little time off and to that I say yes, if you can do, but don't feel you need to emerge from that time with a fully baked plan about your work future. Real lasting, enduring career changes don't come in the chaos of early grief. They take months and sometimes years, but what can you do right now? Instead of rushing into big decisions, consider this season of sense making.
Give yourself a little space to grieve without judgment. Some days you'll be fine, and some days you'll want to watch bad tv with your friends, old scarf wrapped around you. Both are okay.
[00:03:34] A gentle exercise to begin again
Start thinking about and begin to notice what energizes you. Which topics, subjects, conversations, podcasts or projects spark a little interest in you? Write them down. These tiny flickers are clues to what matters more to the new you. The re -calibrating you. \
[00:03:58] Your “Never Again” and “More Of This” work lists
Make two lists. One for all the things that you never want to do again at work, and another of what you might like to do a little more of at work in the future.
Put them somewhere safe for later. They'll become your compass when this fog lifts.
[00:04:17] Resources for navigating grief and work
And if you want to dive into more grief support, here are some things that might help. I'll include all links in the show notes. I wrote an article with some practical recommendations when thinking about work while in the throes of loss.
There's also a book called Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. When I've been in deep grief, this short, easy to read book offered a beautifully calm perspective on what really came. And when you're beyond the fresh grief stage, I'd also recommend you consider checking out a podcast called Grief Cast.
It's laughter and tears in equal measure, people processing their loss openly without shame. It's the podcast that made me look like an absolute loony. As I drove around my local area, people would see me laughing and crying simultaneously was stopped at traffic lights. And my final recommendation is that you check out the Joy At Work podcast episode where I interview Dipti Tait, a grief specialist. Her practical recommendations are just golden.
Our listeners said something powerful. Life's too short to do work, that doesn't matter, and they are absolutely spot on. So if you're feeling a big hole in your heart from the loss of someone important to you, give yourself a little time to work through the recalibration process.
Work isn't going away, it's just fading in importance for a little while. The next chapter of your career story is in design mode behind the scenes. Slowly. When you're ready, there is more active work to do and many of the other Joy at Work episodes will lead you there, but be patient and kind to yourself in the meantime.
