How to Put Yourself First: A Joy At Work Experiment with Lucia Knight
A Joy At Work Experiment: Stop Prioritizing Everyone Else
Feeling stretched too thin at work? In this Joy at Work Experiment, I share a simple but powerful shift—choosing one small thing to recharge yourself this week, so you can show up with more energy, joy, and ease.
Do you find yourself constantly putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own at work? Whether it’s your boss, your team, or your colleagues, prioritizing others can feel like kindness—but unchecked, it leads to burnout, resentment, and exhaustion.
This week’s Joy at Work Experiment is all about shifting that pattern, even just a little. Instead of giving from an empty cup, I want you to choose one small thing that refuels you—something that strengthens, relaxes, or simply lightens your week. It doesn’t have to be big, but it does have to be yours.
The Joy At Work Experiment: Misery Loves Company
1️⃣ Identify one thing that nourishes you—something that you can control.
2️⃣ Commit to making space for it this week.
3️⃣ Let go of guilt and allow yourself to recharge—you’ll be better for it.
For me, this week, it’s an early morning swim. Maybe for you, it’s a ten-minute walk, a quiet coffee, or a drive with your favorite audiobook. Whatever it is, prioritize it—because you’re worth it.
Next Steps:
If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment. It's a 30-minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down. I call it Derailed and it's a fabulous place to begin a joy-at-work redesign.
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The Trap of Prioritizing Others
Lucia Knight: Sometimes, because of our childhoods, our personalities, or our caring responsibilities, we instinctively put others needs before our own.
And of course, there are times when this is absolutely necessary. If a child, partner, or parent is sick, we drop everything to care for them. That's love. That's life. But when prioritizing others becomes a daily habit, something shifts.
Over time, we risk giving from an empty cup. And if you've ever felt bone deep exhaustion, you'll know empty cups are kind of useless.
I see this workplace trap all the time. Brilliant, talented, and kind professionals who consistently put the needs of their boss, their team, or their colleagues ahead of their own.
At first, This looks like kindness, but unchecked, it leads directly to burnout, resentment, confusion, and a whole lot of other emotions that we don't really need at work.
Reasons We Prioritize Others
Lucia Knight: So why does this happen? There are so many reasons. Here's a list, a starter list. Genuine kindness and care for others. A lack of awareness of our own needs.
Deeply ingrained people pleasing behaviors, said the recovered or recovering people pleaser. Conflict avoidance. When it just feels easier in the moment. The belief that prioritizing others will save time. Not having the language to say no. Not having the language to say no but. Not having the language to say yes, but not now.
A lack of training in how to set and communicate boundaries. Uncertainty about our core values, making it kind of hard to advocate for them. Or the pressure of making quick decisions under stress. And often, of course, it's not just one of these. It's a mix of several of them.
In life, those one off moments of putting others needs first are unavoidable. Especially in midlife, when we're sometimes sandwiched between caring for our young people and our elderly people at the same time.
But if our default setting is to meet everyone else's needs before our own, the result isn't just exhaustion. It's frustration. It's bitterness. It's feeling stretched so thin that there's nothing left for ourselves. And frankly, life's too short for that.
At the heart of this is a simple but often overlooked truth.
We must understand and prioritize our own needs before we can help anyone else.
This Week's Joy at Work Experiment
Lucia Knight: This week's Joy at Work experiment. This week, I want you to choose just one thing that you truly need. Something that you can control. Something that fills you up, rejuvenates you, strengthens you, or simply makes the rest of the week feel lighter. It does not have to be big. It just has to be yours.
For me, this week, it's an early morning swim.
The deep breaths, the feeling of weightlessness, the quiet of the water. The way my sore hip doesn't ache afterwards for a couple of hours. It just powers me up. And when I'm swimming, no one needs me, or can get to me. For you, it might be something else. Ten minute walk in the garden. Coffee with a friend.
No agenda, just connection. Doodling, baking, crafting. Whatever taps into your creativity. A long shower without rushing. A drive with your favourite audiobook or music playlist. A trip to the cinema. Why not? 30 minutes of alone time to finally plan that fun thing you've been meaning to do for months.
Your mind and body will repay you in kind. It seems simple, but when we're busy, we often disconnect from our needs. We tell ourselves, we'll get to those later. But later gets pushed again and again. This week, don't change everything, just change one thing. Prioritise one small action that makes your week feel better, easier and lighter.
Because as the old L'Oreal ad used to say, you're worth it.
If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment. It's a 30 minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down. I call it Derailed. It's a fabulous place to begin a joy at work redesign.
