Ask this question instead of “How’s Work?”: A Joy at Work Experiment with Lucia Knight
A Joy At Work Experiment: Never Ask “How’s Work?” Again
At some point in time, I can almost guarantee you that someone will ask you this small talk question - “How’s work?”. It's a lazy question that results in lazy connections. I’ve got a better question to ask.
At some point in time, I can almost guarantee you that someone will ask you this small talk question - “How’s work?”
This is one of my least favorite small-talk conversation openers. I just don't understand why people ask it. Maybe it's out of genuine curiosity, or perhaps an attempt to show that they care.
But let's be honest, “How's work?”, its a lazy question. You don't need to remember the details of someone's job, their role, their company, or even actually care about the answer. And most people know this, which is why they usually respond with something short and unremarkable before steering the conversation elsewhere.
The result? Missed opportunities for real human connection. If you truly care about the person you're talking to or want to create a meaningful, memorable moment, it's time to retire this question and instead, try something that sparks genuine interest and reflection.
The Joy At Work Experiment: Ask this question instead of “How’s Work?”
Instead, why not ask: “ What was the very best part of your career that you used to really enjoy doing?”
Here's why this question works. It shows genuine interest, unlike "How's work?" This question requires the other person to think and engage. It shows that you care about their experiences and it creates a positive focus, even with those who hate their jobs.
Here's your joy at work experiment this week. As you spend time with family and friends this season, take a moment to try this question. Reflect on how it changes the conversation both for you and for them. You'll be surprised at the connection it creates, and the potential enjoyment it brings to an otherwise ordinary exchange.
Give it a try. And hey, while you're at it, think about how you would answer the question, what's the very best part of your work that you really enjoy doing?
Next Steps:
If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment. It's a 30-minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down. I call it Derailed and it's a fabulous place to begin a joy-at-work redesign.
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Never Asks “How's Work” Again
Lucia Knight: You're busy, yeah? There's never enough time to focus on your future work happiness. But if you don't focus on it, things just stay the same, don't they? In these short episodes, I wanna give you some tiny ideas, some mini experiments to try out this week to either dial down a pain point for you at work or dial up your potential for joy at work.
Let's dive in.
Holiday Season and Conversations About Work
Lucia Knight: As I'm recording this, it's almost the holiday season, a time of family gatherings, festive meals, and often longer stretches spent with loved ones. This year, I'll be hosting a big Christmas dinner for my family. On Boxing Day, we'll head to my partner's side of the family for party number two. It's a great time of the year for big chats, relaxed conversation, and slower connecting.
And inevitably, conversation about work. I could almost guarantee you. Someone will ask you this fallback question.
The Problem with 'How's Work?'
Lucia Knight: How's work? This is one of my least favorite small talk conversation openers. I just don't understand why people ask it. Maybe it's out of genuine curiosity, or perhaps an attempt to show that they care.
But let's be honest, how's work? It's a lazy question. You don't need to remember the details of someone's job, their role, their company, or even actually care about the answer to ask it. Most people know this, which is why they usually respond with something short and unremarkable before steering the conversation elsewhere.
The result? Missed opportunities for real human connection. If you truly care about the person you're talking to or want to create a meaningful, memorable moment, it's time to retire this question. Instead, try something that sparks genuine interest.
A Better Question to Ask
Lucia Knight: and reflection Here's an idea. What is the very best part of your job that you really enjoy doing?
This questions works with just about anyone,, regardless of their stage in life or career.
For example, for a retired great uncle Reggie. What was the very best part of your career that you used to really enjoy doing?
For someone, starting a new role. What's the one thing you are most looking forward to doing in your new role?
Or for someone who really dislikes or hates their job? If you could get paid the same or more to do only one small part of your job, what would it be?
Why This Question Works
Lucia Knight: Here's why this question works. It shows genuine interest, unlike "Hows work?" This question requires the other person to think and engage. It shows that you care about their experiences and value their perspective.
It creates a positive focus. Even if someone really, really dislikes their job, this question encourages them to focus on the aspects they do enjoy. It's an opportunity for them to connect with what makes them feel competent, happy, or even fulfilled. It's a gift. Most people aren't often asked this kind of question, and when you do ask it, you give them a chance to reflect on their work, in a positive light.
Often bringing a smile to their face. I've recommended this question to clients around the holiday period for years. And someone recently came back to me after one of our sessions saying that they had ended up having a really valuable conversation with a brother in law that they'd never expected.
How to Ask the Question
Lucia Knight: Now here's how to ask it.
Be patient. The person might not believe you truly want to hear their answer, so reiterate your interest. When they see you're serious, they'll pause, think. And eventually, share something meaningful. Watch for these moments. That pause. A deep breath. Their eyes scanning as they search for the answer. You're giving them a very rare moment of positive introspection.
Then follow up thoughtfully. When they do share their answer, follow up with curiosity. For example, Wow, I didn't know you loved doing that. Do you get to do much of it? Or, what about that makes you enjoy it so much? Or, when was the last time you got to do it?
These follow ups deepen the conversation and help you see the person at their best. The version of themselves who is engaged, passionate, and thriving while at work.
Joy At Work Experiment: Ask this question instead
Lucia Knight: Here's your joy at work experiment this week. As you spend time with family and friends this season, take a moment to try this question. Reflect on how it changes the conversation both for you and for them. You'll be surprised at the connection it creates, and the potential enjoyment it brings to an otherwise ordinary exchange.
Give it a try. And hey, while you're at it, think about how you would answer the question, what's the very best part of your work that you really enjoy doing?
If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment. It's a 30 minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down. I call it D Railed. It's a fabulous place to begin a joy at work redesign.
