Four Reasons We Busy Brag (and How to Stop) with Lucia Knight
A Joy At Work Experiment: Breaking Away from Busy Bragging
Let's be honest, most of us, myself included, have no problem telling anyone with a pair of ears just how busy we are, right? But lately, I've noticed something else creeping into the conversation. I'm going to call this busy bragging. I want to break down why we do this, and share a little experiment that you can try this week to dial up your joy at work (and dial down the busy bragging).
Let's be honest, most of us, myself included, have no problem telling anyone with a pair of ears just how busy we are, right?
In fact, I've never met a midlife professional who isn't swamped with work. Earlier this year, I conducted a survey on joy at work, asking 400 professionals in their 40s, 50s and 60s, what their biggest joy at work challenge was. And across the board, the top answer was the same. Time pressure and an overwhelming workload. |
So yes, we're all busy.
But lately, I've noticed something else creeping into the conversation. I'm going to call this busy bragging. And it's at an all-time high.
Today, I want to break down why we do this, what's really going on from a psychological perspective, and share a little experiment that you can try this week to dial up your joy at work (and dial down the busy bragging).
[00:30] The Reality of Being Busy
[01:28] Understanding Busy Bragging
[02:05] Psychological Insights into Busy Bragging
[02:37] Four Reasons We Busy Brag
[05:48] Experiment: Shifting from Busy to Joyful
The Joy At Work Experiment: Shifting from Busy to Joyful
If you're the one who's always saying, “I'm busy, I'm busy”, instead, try saying, “I'm looking forward to…” and then share something specific.
If you've got a busy bragger in your life, the next time they launch into the, “I'm so busy” monologue, ask them “What's been the highlight of your week so far?” This question will throw them off balance in a good way. And when or if they share a moment, you'll catch a glimpse of that real human behind the busy front.
Next Steps:
If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment. It's a 30-minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down. I call it Derailed and it's a fabulous place to begin a joy-at-work redesign.
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The hidden dangers of busy bragging
Lucia Knight: You're busy, yeah? There's never enough time to focus on your future work happiness. But if you don't focus on it, things just stay the same, don't they? In these short episodes, I wanna give you some tiny ideas, some mini experiments to try out this week to either dial down a pain point for you at work or dial up your potential for joy at work.
Let's dive in.
The Reality of Being Busy
Lucia Knight: I'm so busy. Work is crazy. I thought last month was hectic, but this month, phew, I don't even have time to pee.
Hi, I'm Lucia Knight. And let's be honest, most of us, myself included, have no problem telling anyone with a pair of ears just how busy we are, right? But let me be clear, I'm not suggesting we're all lying about it.
In fact, I've never met a midlife professional who isn't swamped with work. In fact, earlier this year, I conducted a survey on joy at work. Asking 400 professionals in their 40s, 50s and 60s, what their biggest joy at work challenge was. And across the board, the top answer was the same. Time pressure and an overwhelming workload.
So yes, we're all busy.
Understanding Busy Bragging
Lucia Knight: But lately, I've noticed something else creeping into the conversation. I'm going to call this busy bragging. Because I like alliteration. And it's at an all time high. Today, I want to break down why we do this, what's really going on from a psychological perspective, and then share a little experiment that you can try this week to dial up your joy at work.
So, what's busy bragging all about? And so what? If we're all busy braggers, who cares?
Well, it turns out, someone does.
Psychological Insights into Busy Bragging
Lucia Knight: A study from the University of Georgia delved into something they called stress bragging, and find that when we do it at work, it actually has three surprising effects. It stirs up resentment among colleagues. It diminishes their respect for us. It even chips away at their belief in our competence. Ouch!
So, why do we keep doing it?
Let's break it down.
Four Reasons We Busy Brag
Lucia Knight: Number one. We think it makes us look productive. We want to appear like we've got it all together. Like, look at me, mom! I'm juggling all the millions of plates without dropping a single one. We equate busyness with success, yet deep down, I find myself secretly envious of those who are swan like, super organized, with clear boundaries.
Maybe even working a four day week and still making it home in time for a peaceful evening of scintillating conversations with loved ones. In my mind, these people glide gracefully through their work life, like Olympic swimmers using a sleek front crawl while I'm thrashing about with a frantic butterfly stroke trying not to drown in my to do list.
Number two. We use busy bragging to mask our insecurities. Sometimes we're afraid of not looking busy enough. If I don't seem as slammed as Jen or Callum, maybe someone will pile even more work on my plate. And then I'll really be on the verge of breaking. So we pile on the busy talk to protect ourselves.
Number three, it's a shield to avoid difficult conversations or deeper conversations. Now this one might sound odd, but I definitely used busy as a way to dodge human connection when I'm feeling drained. It's a protective barrier that keeps us from having to share anything personal or even mixing business with pleasure.
Here's the sad part. It's This kind of shielding just pushes people away and cuts us off from genuine human connections that are crucial for increasing our joy at work. There's a world of difference between frantically claiming I'm busy. I'm busy. I'm busy. I'm quietly, confiding to to a trusted colleague.
I'm feeling overwhelmed right now. I'm missing out on some time with my family and I'm not sure what to do about it.
Number four, We seek sympathy and validation. For some, being busy is a way of proving to themselves and others that they're good, worthy, needed, and valuable people. So they keep saying yes to every task, even though they're drowning. But that busyness becomes a way to feel valued.
The side problem here is, that's also a fast track to burnout, but that's a whole other episode.
Okay, so, now what? If you've made it this far, you probably know someone who's a busy bragger, or maybe, like me, you occasionally recognize a bit of this in yourself.
But here's the good news, it doesn't have to be a lifelong affliction. A few small tweaks can make a huge difference.
Experiment: Shifting from Busy to Joyful
Lucia Knight: So, let's dive into this week's Joy at Work experiment.
If you're the one who's always saying, I'm busy, I'm busy, instead, try saying, I'm looking forward to, and then share something specific.
Maybe it's a project you're diving into, a discussion you're looking forward to, or a decision you're about to make. This simple switch rewires your brain from problem thinking to solution thinking. And positions you as a solutions. focused person. And who doesn't want more of those at work?
Now, if you've got a busy bragger in your life, the next time they launch into the, I'm so busy monologue, ask them what's been the highlight of your week so far.
This question will throw them off balance in a good way. And when or if they share a moment, you'll catch a glimpse of that real human behind the busy front. And you'll maybe even spark a joy at work moment in the process.
Give these tiny joy at work experiments a try this week and let me know how you go.
If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment. It's a 30 minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down. I call it Derailed. It's a fabulous place to begin a joy at work redesign.
