How to

4 common (and awful) pieces of mid-career-rut advice and what to do instead.

What happens when you grumble about your job at home or to colleagues? 

Historically, I got so sick of hearing unprompted career advice that was irrelevant or so annoying that it made me want to punch someone in the face (oh dear, there's that fiery Celtic temperament again!) that I just shut up. 

Mid-life career lows are not uncommon.  We’ve all had days where we’d prefer to be somewhere else, anywhere else!  But a mid-career rut is a whole different thing that invades areas of life outside work including relationships with partners and children.  

Here are a few of the most common pieces of advice on offer out there and (for what it's worth) my opinion on their value:

 

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 1.   “Stick it out, don’t risk losing it all, it’s bound to get better”:  I don’t know where to start with this one.  We are not just talking about having a bad day at work. We are not just taking about occasional Sunday night blues.

When I use the term career rut, I am referring to persistent, long-lasting, recurring “don’t know how long I can keep going through the motions” feelings that have also started to impact your life outside work. 

Family members are noticing you just not being your usual self. You’ve stopped talking about work at home as you consider it too dull.  Or alternatively you can’t appear to find anything positive to say about work or the people at work.  

You are likely to be spending a great deal of time doing on-line research on new jobs but somehow they don’t look at all different to your current job.  Same job, different faces is definitely not your aim. 

2.   “Better the devil you know”: This security-centred advice is offered by fearful people who are unlikely to have understood your situation fully nor have taken the time to attempt to.  They might perceive you as somehow fortunate or lucky and are surprised that you are not happy with your lot.  

Perhaps they come from a background where a stable job was a goal in life.  Perhaps they are your partner and are worried about your joint/family future.  Perhaps they are simply the type of individual who views change as risky and would rather not let that devil into their house.  

And perhaps they simply have lower expectations on life fulfilment than you.

3.   “Forget about it, come and have a drink”:  Otherwise called “Purple Elephant syndrome”. Temporarily forgetting something that is playing on your mind is extremely valuable…in the short-term. 

Sooner or later, it comes back to haunt you.  A few months or even a year of career rut avoidance offers you the time to mull over options close to home, in your current company and to consider options advertised in the open market.    

Perhaps you have even moved companies during that time but after the initial optimism you realise that the old feelings have returned? The dissatisfaction, the lack of challenge, the boredom and the sameness of it all. 

Changing company changed neither your career nor your future.  

4.   “Just resign and take some time to figure it out”:  If you have an endless pot of gold, no responsibilities and are optimistic that you can work it out by yourself, proceed at speed to your personal yacht.   

If not, don’t consider this piece of advice for more than a dreamy few hours. 

Don’t resign without a plan.  Resign with a GREAT plan. 

Understand in great detail what you have to offer the world.  Analyse how you could offer those skills to the world and what it might give you in return. 

Investigate avenues to transform your career without rocking the rest of your world (unless that is also your aim, of course!) and plan the perfect time to make it happen... then resign!

I specialise in helping mid-lifers identify and design career transformations. To learn more about beginning your own career rut go to www.midlifeunstuck.com, sign up to my newsletter and contact me directly at lucia@midlifeunstuck.com.  

3 things mid-lifers need to know about happy retirement

Retirement isn’t what is used to be...it’s a great deal better.  I keep hearing inspirational life transformation stories from retirees.  Take my in-laws for example - after retiring 4 or 5 years ago they are so busy that we have to book to visit them months in advance.  What are they up to?  This very normal ex-teaching and ex-IT couple are in fact working their way around the world teaching bridge on luxury cruises!  They combined a hobby and teaching skills to offer them joint retirement heaven.

They are not alone. Other inspiring stories I’ve heard recently include cycling around Majorca, helping to build a school in Kenya and signing up to an Italian cooking course in…Florence.  

In a word, I am jealous!

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I totally understand that many retirees have worked and saved all their lives to enjoy their new-found freedom and I can’t help wanting a slice of the action.  BUT, I’m not ready to wait about 25 years to get it.

Last year, I wrote an article based on the latest research into how personality might impact retirement enjoyment and in the process I uncovered some global trends:

1.    Apparently, the more conscientious and agreeable you are as a personality, the more you are likely to enjoy your retirement (do we get more or less agreeable with age?);

2.    Taking part in new activities is very strongly linked to higher mental and physical health in retirement;

3.    The one specific activity which has the greatest impact on enhanced well-being, lower instances of illness and lower death rates in retirement is…volunteering.

The last point blew my mind, especially when we consider employment trends in the UK – how will we all have enough time to be volunteering if we are all still working through the supposedly healthy, vibrant, early retirement phase?

Let’s look at the numbers today.  According to the DWP, 10% of UK 70-74 year olds are in work (the highest figure since records began).  Almost 15% of men over the age of 65 are currently in employment.  These figures are forecast to rise substantially given advancing pension ages.  

Some might think that talking about retirement to mid-lifers is time wasted.  But, if we are all going to be working into late life, then mid-life is the perfect time to deliberately design the second-half of your career which might last another 20, 30 or even 40 years.  If we are still working, ideally it will because we are still enjoying our work or have designed it in a way that it fits around the really fun parts of our lives.  

Maybe there is a way to re-frame work as a more enjoyable part of your life by consciously designing work that really connects with your life? Work that doesn't feel like the part of life that just pays the bills and allows us the two week holiday to re-fresh and gain enough energy to head back to “the grindstone”.

Designing a new second half of life is possible to do by yourself but it will take time, research, deep thinking and an honesty about your own resources and limiting beliefs that is difficult to access by yourself.

Often, when I work with individuals, they say that they do not have a vision of their preferred future career but through questioning and exercises it soon becomes very clear.  To start your own career transformation go to www.midlifeunstuck.com, sign up to my newsletter and contact me directly at lucia@midlifeunstuck.com