Does it exist? Is it a male phenomenon? Has it changed over the decades? Is it just about blowing a load of cash on a Porsche or is there something deeper?
About 5.30pm on a Tuesday, a few weeks ago, whilst standing half way down my garden (the only child-free zone I could find) I ended up chatting on the phone to the amazing journalist Zoe Williams about the modern midlife crisis.
It might have been a normal day for Zoe but not for me. When she said “Hi, it's Zoe Williams from the Guardian”, I smiled one of those smiles that starts in your toes and ebbs towards your earlobes at the speed of light. “Hi, Zoe Williams from the Guardian!” I squeaked in reply.
When I first came to UK, I remember reading her articles in the weekend sections of the broadsheets - often hungover after an expensive night drinking cheap wine in London. We were similar ages and she spoke to my generation as if she was inside my head.
So, 20 years on, she was still a journalist and a great writer and she was calling me!
To be fair, it was a bit of a mad time. I was two weeks away from publishing my first book X Change: How to torch your work treadmill, when I saw a request from her on twitter looking to talk to someone who identified as female, knew something about the midlife crisis and ideally had experienced one of her own. Yes, yes and yes.
My hand shot up faster than a reception-aged kid trying to impress Miss Honey.
We had a half-hour chat where she probed my mind like the experienced journalist she was. In return, I tried so hard to impress her that by the time I got off the phone, I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT I’D SAID.
A nail-biting few weeks followed.
Imagine my stomach churn when, my whatsapp friends got in touch to say they’d been reading about my midlife crisis in the Guardian!
Holy hell! What had I done? What had I said?
They forwarded me the article and my blood pressure returned to normal as I read Zoe’s well-researched, clever article several times to allow it to sink in.
Sure, I had been probably a little too honest about my own melt down around 43. But I’m always honest about that and talk about it regularly on video, in talks, in this blog and in my book.
Zoe had very kindly mentioned the new book so people started getting in touch that day. So many new people checked out my website and signed up to my “It’s not too late and you’re not too old” newsletter that I almost wept with joy.
Please do read Zoe’s article in The Guardia (Click here).
But, if you’re stuck for time and just wanted to know what I said, here it is:
Sometime in our 40s or 50s we have to start working a heck of a lot harder at liking our bodies than we used to. Probably due to the impacts of metabolic slow-down, illnesses or sheer bloody exhaustion! Some people view this as a midlife crisis but it’s bigger than that.
Midlife crises of the Porsche-buying variety are old hat for most of our modern society. Midlife men in Lycra is the modern form but, let’s be honest, some men just love cycling fast in tight clothes talking about power-to-weight ratios. My lovely husband is one of them so I need to tread gently here.
In my opinion, the new midlife crisis manifests itself as a career crisis in our 40s/50s which has become comfortable to talk about in recent years. The timing of this seems to also coincide with the modern 50-year-old corporate toast phenomenon which I’ve written about a great deal.
Here’s the article again - have a read and let me know if you agree or disagree.
If you couldn’t give a monkeys what we call this feeling of dissatisfaction that you’re experiencing and want to crack on sorting it out, why not book in for one of my “Light at the end of my tunnel” calls. In 30 mins, after hearing your story I guarantee to give you at least two personalised suggestions to kick-start your career overhaul so that you can stop wasting time doing work that you don’t love.